Styles of Love

PSY/265 Version 3

September 23, 2011

     When people fall in love they often begin with a passion or intense desire to be his or her partner’s everything.  Jeff and Linda are a young couple who met and were instantly attracted to each other.  They are considered to be in the infatuation stage of love.  Passion is a style of love considered to be infatuation by Psychologist Robert Sternberg (1986, 1988, as restated by Rathus, et. al., 2005).  In a similar scale to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, Susan and Clyde Hendrick’s Love Attitude Scale describes these impassioned feelings as possessive or excited love; mania.  As in the beginning of my own relationship, this stage of love is accompanied by intense feelings for the other person.  Continued thoughts of togetherness make the heart race, the palms sweat, and can become a distraction from normal routines.  However, it is also possible to feel anxiety over the absence of the other person, or over negative communication or thought processes.  Although love is not an all or nothing feeling, maturity and time has a way of enhancing or dissolving relationships.

     Although Jeff and Linda’s relationship began as an infatuation, over time, circumstances developed that changed the relationship: communication difficulties, sexual dysfunctions, and stress changed their developed, wholesome style of love (e.g. agape or consummate) to that of a companionate love.  Companionate defined as a love that has intimacy and commitment but lacks passion; according to the Love Attitude Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 2002 as restated by Rathus, et. al, 2005), “a friendship,” or in the Greek term philia (p. 220).  Both passionate love and companionate love are peripheral styles of love; however, bind a couple in different aspects of a relationship; passionate love by strong emotional and sexual desires, and companionate love by emotional ties and a strong commitment to the relationship.  Through personal knowledge, both passionate and companionate love, as with any style of love, bring about deep emotional bonds to one’s partner.    

Reference

Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., & Fichner-Rathus, L. (2005). Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity. (6th ed.). Boston, M.A: Allyn and Bacon. Retrieved from PSY/265 Version 3 Website

 

Sexuality and Value Systems

PSY/265 Version 3

August 31, 2011

     It was Aristotle that once said “We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly” (Value Quotes, 2011, para. 1).  Concerning value systems and sexuality, I believe that everyone forms his or her beliefs based on what they were taught growing up.  However, there are a vast number of questions that can and should be asked before making any decision on engaging in sexual relations.  Moral, ethical, and personal beliefs are but a few.  As for my personal decisions, a mixture of legalism and rationalism appear to be the value systems I tend to follow.  Legalism is the aspect I follow for my moral and ethical bases; as inspired by God (Rathus, Nevid, & Fichner-Rathus, 2005).  Scripture provides many guidelines for moral and ethical behavior.  Although I have not always found my moral and ethical guidelines through the inspiration of the Lord, rationalism has provided me with an aspect of decision-making that has proven to be beneficial in the decisions concerning my sexual well-being.  As indicated by Rathus, Nevid, and Fichner-Rathus (2005) the rationalist side of me has used intellect and reasoning to make decisions based on personal consequences.  If I were to be ashamed of what I was doing or for my family to know what I was doing then I just don’t.  Sexuality is a beautiful part of humanity and can likewise be the most dreadful.  While I represent the majority of my decisions are based on the legalism value system, it is apparent that I have adopted the rationalism system from time to time to help me in making sense of my own sexuality and behavior.    

References

Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., & Fichner-Rathus, L. (2005). Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity. (6th ed.). Retrieved from PSY/265 Version 3 Website

Value Quotes. (2011). Ethics Quotations on value and values. Retrieved from http://www.valuequotes.net/

 

Sexual Techniques

PSY/265 Version 3

September 29, 2011

     Sexual techniques are a subject that most people will pay attention to when discussed.  Everyone loves to be pleased and when trying to fine tune techniques it is wise to know what others like, especially ones partner.  The first form of pleasure someone may experience, masturbation, teaches an individual what parts of the body bring pleasure; however, many people condemn masturbation as sinful (Bullough, 2002 as restated by Rathus, et. al., 2005).  Another form of pleasure (i.e. kissing and touching) is referred to as petting or foreplay.  Finally, sexual intercourse and how diversity provides pleasure.  Through varied techniques, pleasure can be had by all.

     Manual stimulation of the genitals is one of the earliest forms of pleasure, as indicated by Rathus, et. al. (2005), even before understanding what sexual pleasure is.  According to Rathus, et. al. (2005), masturbation has, for century’s, been thought of as sinful because it is a non-procreative sexual act and thus mentally and physically harmful.  While masturbation is not usually physically harmful, studies have found there are many reasons people masturbate; some reasons are physical pleasure, to relieve sexual tension, partner does not want to engage in sexual activity, and fear of AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections (Laumann and colleagues, 1994, as restated by Rathus, et. al. (2005).

     As a young person advances in maturity, he or she may begin to experiment foreplay; kissing and non-coital physical contact.  Foreplay is an important prelude to copulation; it awakens the body to physical stimulation, in essence activating the body’s natural preparation for intercourse.  The lips and skin are highly sensitive and carry many nerve endings; kissing and touching also brings pleasure to one’s partner.  Both can be a simple greeting, such as shaking hands or the kissing of a child, relative, or friend.  With foreplay kissing and touching can travel the length of the body to provide pleasure.

     Of course there are times when foreplay goes beyond simple kissing and non-coital touching; sexual passions are flamed and full genital contact is the result.  Now the question of how: should the traditional missionary position be chosen or perhaps the female-superior position would be better.  There are many variables that can dictate what sexual position should be used: penetration, pregnancy, sexual difficulties, and sexual sensation are but a few.  The male or female superior positions provide a controlling position, respectively.  Other positions are the lateral or side-entry position and the rear-entry position; both are beneficial in the later stages of pregnancy (Rathus, et. al., 2005).   Each of these four positions offers differing access and penetration of the genitals and should be experimented with to find the position that works best for each individual.

     Self-pleasure in the form of masturbation is learned from a very young age and provides the foundation for expressing personal likes and dislikes with foreplay.  Kissing and touching, foreplay to copulation is usually an expression of tenderness and pleasure to another person and can provide an opening for sexual activity.  Sexual techniques, male superior, female superior, side, or rear-entry are a learning experience that should be experimented with and enjoyed. 

Reference

Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., & Fichner-Rathus, L. (2005). Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity. (6th ed.). Boston; M.A: Allyn and Bacon. Retrieved from Retrieved from PSY/265 Version 3 Website